I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
