I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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