Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
