somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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