sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
