love makes seman taste better
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
