On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize