thus making me awesome and them whores
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
COCAINE IS GR8
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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