lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
