Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
