My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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