dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Semen is not good for contacts.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
