hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
