it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize