at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
