He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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