there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
