i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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