so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
