When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
