I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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