ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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