last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My liver just had a heart attack.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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