he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
God I need to hump something, right now.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
