I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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