So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
