I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
