Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
