It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I am mentally ready for anal.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
