If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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