She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
