The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
