tell your sister to shave her snatch
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
