At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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