It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize