So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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