It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
