I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
