i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
