somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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