He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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