There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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