Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize