Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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