Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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