it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
