is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dick very happy bro
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
