God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
