It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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