i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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