Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
