His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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