why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
