If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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