Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
