i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
