I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
