I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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