I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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