Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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