used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
