so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
